I have the insane urge to draw yaoi. Lots and lots of yaoi.

I will draw yaoi for my favorite fandoms. I will draw yaoi for fandoms i have never even read or seen. I will draw yaoi and call it slash. I will draw yaoi and call it shonen ai. I will draw yaoi and call it hentai. I will draw yaoi and call it the blue balloon parade, but I will draw a lot of it. A lot. Because all of a sudden I need just need to. It is my duty, my calling - I feel it. It MUST be done.

This rant was brought to you by Google images.

Yknow I've actually been depressed all day long. But now I have a goal. I like this goal...

"Poison Ivy"

I get really bored here at home. I decided I'd challenge my skillzzz. I collect a lot of pictures for inspiration and this idea just came to mind. I wanted to see if I could "paint on" makeup. The original lipstick and eyeshadow were black as was the hair. I rather like it.

I deleted a lot of my old entries and I found this test again. Its been two years and I've grown a lot since then so I decided "what the hell! let's give it another go!"

Wish you'd been there...

DevArt - Good Weather

I picked the wrong college. I got in, didn't get enough financial aid and couldn't go. That and my mother didn't trust that I could take care of myself in a big bad new city. So now I'm going to my last resort school. The school that was basically Plan Z. And I applied to the Honor's College there. And didn't get in.

Could I be failing any more right now?

So meanwhile my boyfriend is going away. Near full scholarship. Can't blame him with that. But I still feel betrayed. This whole time he promised me we'd go to school together no matter what. And I banked on that the entire time. And now he's leaving and the school I banked on didn't bank on me (harhar pun).

The thing I guess I learned from this is not to put anything behind anyone but yourself. I guess its a lesson we all have to learn at one point in our lives. It's like I knew it all along, but now it's slapped me in the face, beaten me down and is standing above me victorious.

I don't know what is going on anymore. I'm just so tired.

I have one more month to spend with my boyfriend. He's leaving four days after my birthday. That said my birthday isn't much to celebrate to this time. My 18th. Yaay. I never thought I'd live this long honestly. I just have this feeling that he isn't going to be there. Something is going to get in the way. Something is going to go wrong. Thats probably how I'm going to cope with the rest of the year and the next year. The next four years. Expecting nothing good to happen so I'm not disapointed when everything goes wrong. I know its horrible but I want this summer to be over. i'm tired of pretending that it'll be okay and waiting for everything to drop. I want to get this all over with. I'm tired of missing him when he's here and waiting to see what'll happen when he's gone. I'm tired of sitting here with nothing to distract me. Just sitting here with my own thoughts and waiting to die.

Well, I haven't been here in a while. Hey folk! Now with summer filling my schedule up with exactly nothing, I've actually had a lot of free time on my hands. Which is a good and bad thing. After a while, school begins to break me a bit. It turns me very robotic. Its hard to shift away from that and back into action.

I got ready to draw some Teen Titans fanart a few days ago and guess what? I forgot what they looked like. I'm not joking. Everytime i drew one of them, they just looked like anonymous anime characters. They had the hair cuts and masks and such but... aah. It was very bizarre.

But I'm trying my best to get back into the circuit of things. I dont know if that necessarily means more LJing but I'll try my best there too.

I've had wierd urges lately to write Teen Titans ficlets. It's been very wierd. I haven't written fanfic since my Harry Potter days. They were rather horrible. Well not totally. I was just never able to finish a story. But i just want to write little stories. I dont even have ideas for plots or anything. Just the urge to write them.

Conclusion: The human brain is like a Pinto. You're lucky it works. Then it explodes.

Yesterday I thought of something really profound and immediately told myself  remember that to write on livejournal. And I'd tell you that profound thought if I could, I really would but... I forgot. 

Oops.

Conclusion: There is no time like the present to remember the past noting the future.

I feel really sorry for my mom. Cause it must be very ... bad having a daughter like me. I'm the kinda daughter that most people wouldn't want. The weird kind. The kind that doesn't socialize and sucks her thumb at age 12. And argues with herself in the mirror.

And when you walk in she's wearing yet another weird outfit, whist talking to herself and dancing. While the other daughters are out with real people.

Actually, I feel sorry for my whole family. I think I'm going to go do some chores later. To make it up, yknow?

Conclusion: You can't pick how hard the apple falls from the tree.

I wonder if anyone has ever went to a priest to get their condoms blessed? Or if a guy has ever gone to a church, unzipped his pants, slapped his dick on the table and said "Bless me, please." Or if you could.

I'd blame this on the cold, but I actually thought of this yesterday when I was feeling fine.

Time. It upsets me. It has always upset me for as long as I've been aware of it. When I was little I always wanted to know why I needed to sleep. I didn't like sleep. I want to be able to do all these things. I have all this plans. And yet... no plans at all. No space. No way. No way to work them. No place to work them. I want to draw right now, but it's 1 AM. I want to work on my boyfriend's Valentine's Day present. But its 1 AM. I want to work on it later. I'm busy later. I need sleep for later. I'm busy the day after that. I'm busier five days after that day. In constant motion. I just don't know. I just don't.

January 22 - Blog for Choice day

No one should ever be able to demand what you do or not do with your body. No one.

I was applying to be vice president at the Teen Titans Club and I sent a note. I'm thinking "Hmm. This would be so cool. Being able to actively help in the club I love blah blah blah" and I'm getting all excited, right? Then in like one minute i get a response back saying it was just filled. I'm like "Okay"... and I move on. All a total of 3 minutes. I love that! 

Conclusion: In internet love, everything is a quickie. 

I dont care if I made it myself! I dont care if I cut the lines wrong! I don't care about any of it! Cause it's still funny!!

New desktop from me to you (TT Animated Fandom)

Conclusion: All work no play makes Aery a dull (fan)girl.

Fullsize: 800x600

Soo tired. But sooo satisfied.

This is inspired by the wonderful Yamane Ayano and her just as wonderful (and yaoi-rific) manga Viewfinder (AKA Finder no Hyouteki). The moment I saw that picture I was just struck. Cause... woah. If I could even get a quarter of that expression and put it on Robin's face, I would've been happy. I never even thought I'd finish this. It challenged me alot and forced me to try a lot of new things that I had never done before. The drawing style, the coloring, the editing... I had to use a lot of different techniques which scared me a bit. The style isn't totally mine either. I tried to emulate her style a bit and make things a bit more angular (the noses, the lips...). In the end, I got a lot more than i expected and i gotta say i'm really happy about the outcome. Really really. Reeeeally. 

My second inspiration for this is Small Print by RobinRocks and Narroch06 (which I have become addicted to). Small Print will probably be the subconscious inspiration for every slash drawing i do from now until I die. Infact, every drawing of Robin that I do from now on... I first read Small Print a little after I had finished reading Viewfinder. And somehow they twined together and had little slashy babies in my mind. Which is very much yayful as far as I'm concerned. So even though this isn't a direct drawing for Small Print, it was certainly enabled by Small Print. And for that I am very much thankful.

Credits:
Viewfinder (c) Yamane Ayano
Robin and Slade (c) DC Comics
Art (c) AeryValley
Fonts (CarbonType and Japanese) from dafont.com
Colored and Edited in PaintShop Pro 9

And now... sleep.

Conclusion: All love is love. Especially crazy forced love.

[As I said on DevArt] "I am still so shocked I finished this picture. I originally started it one friday night on the Titansgo.net practice board. I was talking to my friend on the phone when all of a sudden my internet said 'Nah. She doesnt need to finish this' and bailed. It twas a phenomenal kickoff. Finally after much panicky clicking I recovered it... but in the wrong program. So all my beautiful layers as well as messy lineart... woosh. So finally I just took a screencap of it and slowly carried it over to PaintShop Pro. Where I barely finished it this weekend.

It was probably all for the best. I know me and I know if I had done it in oekaki, I would've messed it up completely. But now I'm actually pretty proud of it. Yeah."

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/42298529/
Done in PaintShop Pro
Robin and Slade (c) DC Comics
Art (c) AeryValley
Title inspired by "Sweet Religion" by Imogen Heap. Cause that song rocks. Yup.

All 7 versions of the picture can be seen .... here. I got click-happy in PSP. And when I get click-happy.... world beware.

New layout. Ain't it bitchin?

I'm gonna look at this tomorrow. But for now I seriously need some sleep. Eventually.

I realize I haven't posted in a while.I also realize how spotty my record has been. I also realize that no one cares what I have realized. But all of that aside... wanna hear an utterly horrifying story?

Monday I had a day off so I went to my boyfriend's house. Twas a very very nice time but not the story I'm gonna tell. Tuesday was school. Blah blah not important. Now, today is Wednesday. I rode the bus home from school and walked the 15 minutes home. Whenever I get home I always expect two calls. My mom always calls from work to check if i got home. Then my grandma calls to check as well. Alright, so my grandma calls. And she tells me that she tried to call me yesterday, but I didn't answer. My bad, I must've not heard it. So she goes 'I just figured you were at [insert boyfriend's name here]'s house again.' 
Me:'No, grandma. It was a school night.' 
Grandma: 'I don't know. You girls [ie: referring to me and my older sisters]... your always wandering to people's houses [ie. by people she means guys; fairly true]
Me: 'Nope. Just at home'

Now I can't totally remember the whole conversation so that wasn't entirely transcripted. But somehow she got to this. She told me to 'always be careful' and 'be safe' and to remember 'to take care of yourself first'. And I must admit it took me a minute before I realized she wasn't talking about crossing the street or just going to peoples houses.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, my grandma gave me the sex talk.

Oh god. I think my brain is trying to kill itself now. But I had to write down this conversation for your enjoyment before my brain did the merciful thing and repressed it. Thats all.

Well lets see... what have I done lately...?

Well I put Robin, Speedy, and Aqualad in drag. Thats... pretty much it. Yeah. Well not totally but... pretty much. Yeah.

BUT! If I think of anything else... I'll let you guys know ;) See ya!